LaMeta

I never wanted to look into the water. Feeling I would lose myself in a reflection. So I looked elsewhere for beauty. Everywhere I Iooked it felt like I had just missed it. And when I found you…well, just like an echo. Like I had just missed your beauty…the beauty of your soul.

And now there was that echo, bouncing between the hollow holes in our chests. Almost as if I was someone you used to love.

Oh how you played it so well, the part of the hero. But when I took your cape, I took your wings. What upsets you most? That I chose myself? That I need time? Or that you aren’t what I need? You want me to need you so bad that you try to show me a world minus you version of my life through words and paper.

But I’ll never miss what is always here.

A man once told the story of the two birds that tried to fly tied to each other, and what a disaster it turned out to be. Don’t you understand? Stop trying to be my air when I’m holding my  breath. Let go of my vines cause your grip is breaking them. Take a step back so I can take a few forward.

This isn’t a battle you’re going to win. And I’m afraid you’ll come for vengeance offering a white and gold rose as consolation. You wanted me to feel your waters so bad you tried to drown me with closed eyes, but I peeked and dared stare at the reflection I didn’t recognize as my own. I want to unclench my fists and hold you.

But not now.

Right now, I choose to hold to sanity. I might not be in water, but I feel like I’m drowning. And your hand feels like a noose around my neck.